Venezuela Gets a Navy?

After signing a 7 year/$80.5 million contract, Rockies speedy outfielder is still not happy. Taking cue from last year's Stephen Strasburg and Oral-B coalition, Gonzalez has partnered with the most unlikely of counterparts. "My agent came to me with this propasal and I just couldn't pass it up," a hardly bilingual Gonzalez said through horrible english with a heapin helpin of thick Venezuelan mixed in. Now that the ink has dried on the deal, one thing is for sure, Carlos now has plenty of pockets to put all of his cash in.
The deal that Carlos Gonzalez is speaking of is his partnership with American clothes outfitter Old Navy. "When we were approached by their people for Carlos to help promote their summer line of cargo shorts, we knew it was a homerun!," said an almost giddy Lester Murdoch, agent for the newly inked spokesman. Terms for the deal remain undisclosed, although one can only speculate that it is quite a hefty sum.
As the softspoken centerfielder stepped up to the podium at his recent press conference, he mumbled into the mic "I love them, they have tons of room for stuff." "We'll have to work on that," said the giggling Murdoch. At the recent photo shoot to launch the new campaign, the photographer realized very quickly that serious was out as an option. "The kid's a, how you say, goofy moron toddler?" quipped Hans Van Persie, the photog tagged with capturing the youngster modeling his newly sponsored apparrel. "But all in all, that's exactly who I feel the company is marketing towards, so I feel we captured the essence of the campaign." Look for many more ads like the one above to hit bus benches and billboards this summer.
Last spring, young Mr. Strasburg may have started a trend, and not the one Adam Wainright followed yesterday. The flamethrower opened up new doors in the cross-promotiional world. No longer are athletes relegated to promoting sporting good stores or car dealerships. Now through marketing genius, they can help push all sorts of products. Without a doubt, there will be plenty more to follow.

Backstop Boys Team Logos

In preparation of the upcoming 2011 fantasy baseball season, Backstop Boys owners are tasked with creating a team logo that truly represents what each team is all about (shitty Microsoft Paint skills required). Unfortunately, several of the team owners are either 1)a nancy boy, 2)have no self confidence, or 3)simply suck at fantasy baseball, thus causing said owners to oft change his (hopefully none of you are categorized as her) team name. Perhaps the changing of one's team name is just the boost a team needs to kick start a run for the playoffs, after all, I myself have finished 2nd and 1st over the last 2 years since changing my team name to the now permanent, ever popular team name to be revealed later on in this blog post. Clearly by demeaning the players on my team, I have motivated them to excel and bring championships where they belong. It reminds me of the time Wes Welker did a little too much talking about some guy's foot fetish and said foot fetish guy proceeded to send Wes Welker home for the remainder of the season. It was such a great moment, it seemed like it was just yesterday, but I digress.

So without further ado, I present to you the team logo for the (Land)Man, the Myth, the Legend, the creator and owner of this blog, The Grand Punctuator:

Team Name: beefeaters (Not to be confused with beefeeders, b-feeters or anything else that sounds like a combination of the words beef and eaters)

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And for the moment we've all been waiting for, my hours and hours of Google Images searching and Microsoft Paint expertise have resulted in the following masterpiece:

Team Name: Shitface Dickfarts

And there you have it, the first 2 Backstop Boys team logos for 2011. Stay tuned for more shitty displays of Microsoft Paint at its finest. Good day sirs.

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And the latest entrant into the Backstop Boys Logo game...its the Pucketteers Owner with his rendition of a portly African-American in a European Hat biting a knife because his limbs were amputated due to his diabetes....I present to you...

Team Name: The Pucketteers

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Here's the first effort at the Re-Tods logo. Not too creative, but it is what it is. When you other slack asses figure out your logos, send them to us and we'll post them.

Team Name: The Re-Tods


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Sorry for the okie doke that I had to pull. The previous beefeaters image is in homage to my first 4 years of destitute performances with that moniker. A cleansing of demons if you will. I needed a new moniker with no previous baggage so I called upon my made up title that usually only goes on bachelor party emails or wedding gifts and stuff. I present to you, C.M., LoN. (Its a little disturbing how much Florida looks like the flaccid penis in all anatomy books)

Team Name: Lord of Nations




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I have this wonderful image of the huge scoreboard at the All Valley Karate Tournament where Daniel LaRusso's name along with the picture of the banzai tree in front of the sunset advancing in the bracket against the evil cobra pictures.....I can't help but feel that I need to be part of this magical 80's americana. I want my logo next to other logos on some sort of display board thing. With my dream in mind, can everyone please get a logo made so our draft board can also have these amazing works of art next to our team names?>

Rock the Vote

Pick one. They are labeled as follows Top=1 Bottom=4. Hopefully you turds can figure out the other 2.