As fall is now setting in, the time of year that many men across the country long for annually is finally upon them. The intensity of playoff baseball is heating up and the anticipation of football season has climaxed into a reality. But it's not a magical time for every man in America. All across our great country, athletes are having to leave their families behind to head out on road trips or having to cancel that family vacation they had planned assuming their team would miss the playoffs. This can be extremely hard on them, but very few people get to see the damage that is done behind the curtains, in the players' home. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to report on a very unique circumstance with a person going through this very thing, on two fronts.
For this story, I was headed down to a town in southeast Louisiana that somehow seems to be simultaneously up and coming and completely stagnant all at the same time, a future metropolis/wasteland known as Zachary, Louisiana. Like I mentioned earlier, the reason I ended up here is a very unique circumstance. The recent lonely lover I'm here to cover is named J.C. Anderson Jr. and his heart is being torn in two differentdirections. He recently received the phone call all baseball wives' both pray to receive and hope never comes. "We had been planning all summer to spend a magical fall in the Poconos watching the leaves change, so when BamBam called to cancel due to the postseason I was happy for him, but crushed for us," stammered a still heartbroken Anderson through held back tears. Seeming to sense his dismay at this very moment, one of his many cats quickly nestled in his lap to try and offer comfort to the now obviously choked up Anderson. With the high reward that comes from his partner's job, a demanding schedule also follows. Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers has to report to training camp in early spring and is guaranteed to be out of pocket through the summer and into early fall. "BamBam usually makes the all-star team so that ruins the chance of us having a midsummer lover's soiree during peak bathing suit season, so most of our get togethers are for a night here and there usually leading to one too many mai tais and way too few sexual relations."
This heartache is nothing new to Anderson, but this year in particular looked to be extremely more taxing on the daintily clad lover. "BamBam said he'd only catch for the playoff run in order to save energy, problem is, he most definitely knows I'm no pitcher," muttered Anderson as he wiped his now running nose on the sleeve of his Easter pink polo. "This lead me into something I often thought about on my lonely summer nights, but believed I would never have the stomach to actually act on, I found comfort in the arms of another man." Problem is, that other man is also forced out of his partner's arms this time of year. "In my head it all worked out so perfectly, BamBam could keep me warm in the winter months and Tom would be there to cool me off in the summer months." But like Steinbeck once wrote, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
"When the phone rang and it was BamBam telling me the Poconos trip wasn't happening, I thought that it couldn't get any worse, then last week happened," sobbed Anderson after excusing himself for a few moments seemingly to gather himself and also to put on some Abercrombie pajama pants at 2:00 in the afternoon.
"I helped Tom pack then drove him to the airport and seemed to be doing ok, I had come to grips with the life I had chosen, my men had men to lead and a man to leave. But when I saw those Ugg boots walking down the jetway, I felt like a 1,000 pound weight was placed on my chest and the heartache came rushing back."
Now, just because Anderson is left alone this time of year, don't jump to any conclusions about him being unsatisfied. Everyone has heard various stories about army wives or other lonely ladies that are left alone for long stints of time.
Many of them manage to keep themselves "occupied" with a little self-stimulation and our featured character is no different.
Suddenly, Anderson's demeanor switched from a mentally defeated victim to someone who seemed to have a secret that no one else knew. "Before Tom left I had him cram a 4-leaf clover, a rabbit's foot, and a horseshoe up my ass," grinned Anderson through a smirk that strangely resembled an evil villain that just concocted a fiendish plan to conquer the world, "they're all up there right now!"
At least this is how I suspect his playoff run is happening.
