Well my friends, its that time of year when one lucky team gets to reach immortality and get their name added to the hallowed Puckett Bucket. Susan's Boil came out of the gates with a pedestrian 72.5 points per week average and managed to eek out a 2-1 record. He then rattled off 6 straight W's with a herculean 84.77 weekly point average over that span. In the final week of the season, society was given a preview of the league finals, and speaking on behalf of society, we were severely disappointed. In their week 13 battle royale, Susan's Boil managed to outlast Frank the Tank in a very meager 56.57-48.11 victory. Two scores that every team in the league except one (Child Please) would have destroyed that week. After limping into the postseason, Susan's Boil would have little trouble on its way atop the grand pedestal, barring a slight scare from Tony Homo in the semis.
We did have a few records set this season. Tony Homo managed to put up the highest regular season point total ever (1095.44) . Second place for points during a regular season goes to the 2006 Lazer Wolves (1089.34), but the Lazer Wolves did it all in the dead bonus point era. Another interesting tidbit, Child Please is the only team ever in the history of the TBFFL to start a season 4-0 and not make the playoffs. *Note*: Only 3 other teams have started 4-0 and amazingly enough all 3 did in 2008 (Fuck Bernard Pollard, Frank Dux, and Steven Segal).
After another disappointing season of not making the playoffs for the Grand Punctuator while owning the 1st and 4th ranked player in all of the world, I am only left to wonder where and what it was that I ever did to offend Kirby Puckett. Maybe he disagrees with the phrase "climb the wall" that was attributed to him. I'm sorry Kirby, please let it go. Anyway, this morning I saw a majestic robin crap out 3 beautiful blue eggs which can only mean one thing......spring is near and keeper decisions need to be made. Cliff Lee, you better not fuck me.
Were you a fan of Dennis Martinez? Or are you somehow related to him? Because that is the only reason I can think of why Kirby is somehow posthumously preventing you from etching your name on the Bucket. DMart (as everyone would call him if he played in this day and age) was the mother fucker who hit Kirby in the head which most likely lead to his glaucoma which led to him going blind which in turn led to him retiring from baseball too soon.
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