After an injury plagued season in 2009 and a rough spring, David Wright received a great piece of news this morning and a great piece of ass this afternoon. In a fantasy league yet to be named, Wright got word that he is all but assured to be selected 1st overall in the upcoming draft. "I was a little worried that people would doubt my abilities, but I have a lot of faith that my projections are going to live up to all the hype," said a confident albeit exhausted Wright. The New York Mets 3rd sacker immediately went out to cruise the evening scene in Florida since there is really no significant nightlife being that most of the residents in the state go to bed around 5:30 pm.
Wright soon saddled up to the bar and ordered himself and his entourage a round of strawberry daiquiris and demanded that each be served with a "crazy straw". A bystander overheard the bout of cockiness and took exception. Following his strawberry daiquiri apparrently Wright wasn't done, he then proceeded to knock down a white russian. The bystander that happened to over hear the outlandish demand just so happened to be the new Oakland Athletic, Kevin Kouzmanoff. In an attempt to bring the newly ordained "1st overall" back to earth, or maybe a good ol' fashioned attempt to pull a robbery on the females swooning over Wright, Kouzmanoff mentioned to the young ladies that they "should not cream your panties just yet". "I am well aware of the announcement, and it turns out that the league already has 30 keepers, so you are hoping to fuck the 31st pick overall," said the cock-blocking Russian. "Better than hoping to fuck a Jake Fox platoon partner, and I do mean partner," quipped a fist clenching Wright as he seemed to have life being breathed into his bowed chest. Before another word could be said, Wright delivered a left and communism was again defeated a la Balboa vs. Drago. "Frenchy Francouer and I just watched Bull Durham, and the scene where a drunk Costner gives Tim Robbins the lesson in the bar to always punch with your non-throwing hand was still fresh on my brain," said the now handsy Wright as he groped his prize. I know it is early in the year, but there seems to be a lot of fight in young David Wright.
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